Wednesday, July 14, 2010

So I had a post halfway written when the computer I'm on completely froze.

Then it struck me.
At this point in my life, pretty much everything that's happened in my life is related to academics/school.

For a long time now, I haven't been doing well academically. This summer, it's all changed.
I've boiled it down to three parts.

1] newfound self-confidence in my own abilities
2] newfound motivation for myself, not for others, but sheerly for myself
3] newfound feeling of proactiveness. It's a word now, don't argue with me =p

This has led to:

1] active participation in class
2] self-motivated studying (my parents don't know I'm studying for graduate school)
3] decrease in quality of life elsewhere (but does it correlate?)

I feel really betrayed by someone I trusted, a friend. My relationship is now a one-sided street. I look at my friends, and find that most of them are simply too immature for me. The ones who are not, are just too busy with their lives for me (which I understand perfectly and do not begrudge them and wish them success), being as we're at the point in our lives where we simply need to grow up. My laptop has been destroyed and I have a lot of it backed up but I lost a lot of things. I have no financial freedom (or freedom at all) living in Irvine, and it's honestly a golden chain with my parents and I.

All this has culminated into a feeling of complete misery.

What is the point of this story?

The only physical and mental enjoyment I really have these days is my cup of coffee. [Isn't it lovely?]

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